Sometimes the truth is rude

I saw a friend of mine last night. Hadn’t seen him for about ten years. Long story short … he got huge.

We were walking around an open air mall, and it was a bit chilly. He had no jacket, whereas I’d brought mine. I commented that he must be cold, and he said, “Nah, I got enough body fat to keep me warm.” (Note, I did not bring up his excess fatness first. I may have, had he not mentioned it, but as it happens, I did not initiate the discussion.) He went on to tell me that his doctor had just checked his body fat percentage and it had come out to 33%.

“Wow,” I remarked, “you’ re morbidly obese.”

“What?” he asked, sounding shocked.

I admitted that I did not really know if 33% body fat made him morbidly obese, but he was definitely obese.

“I dunno,” he relaxed. “I don’t think I’m that big.”

“Dude,” I said, looking right at him, “you’re huge.”

My wife was with us. She thought my remarks were rude and said as much. Hmmmm…. I was just stating the facts, as I saw them. The guy is 5’8″ and 230. That’s dangerously huge. I should be polite? I should “support” my friend by telling him things are not so bad for him? NO!

Before I had my wake up call, I did not realize I was as huge as I was. I would remark about how huge other people were, without realizing I was that huge myself. It took some well-placed comments by people, as well as some photographs, to get me to see I needed to lose weight.

I aim to provide that same motivation for others.

Despite what many people think, supporting your friends and family is not hiding the truth from them. There is a word for that — it’s “enabling”. If you choose not to point out your friend’s self-destructive behavior, you are enabling that person to continue that behavior.

The problem is that we accept obesity in our society, and that’s probably because so many of us are obese. Of course, we all still make fun of the 400-pound guy taking up two seats at the theater, but being 230 at 5’8″ is just fine. Sorry, but I just don’t buy it.

Sometimes the truth is rude. But sometimes that rudeness can get someone you care about on the track to better health.

Does your significant other sidetrack your fitness goals?

I often have been sidetracked from my fitness goals by my significant other.

It’s not her fault. Honestly, I don’t expect my wife to make every dietary turn with me in my quest for fitness. That’s not fair to her, now, is it? But, too often I give in. The cupcake is there, and I cave in and eat it.


I am not sure what changed in me. Perhaps it was reading Taubes’s Good Calories, Bad Calories, which convinced me that sugar is a poison. Perhaps it was watching my waist shrink with my new higher protein, lower carb lifestyle. Perhaps it was just because I had reached the end of my rope and knew I wanted to be fit. Whatever the reason, I swear, you could put a chocolate cake with vanilla buttercream frosting right next to me and I would not be tempted even to taste it.

Where are you in your fitness journey? Have you reached a point where you are determined to be fit? Or are you still able to be knocked off track?

I guess it’s kinda like quitting smoking. I tried to quit many times, even quitting for 18 months at one point, only to start back. But the last time I quit, I never again had any temptation to smoke. Right from the first second of that decision. I was done. Hell, I even dated women who smoked, took puffs off their cigarettes (without inhaling), and never restarted.

Breaking ourselves of our laziness and, more importantly, our eating habits, is a lot like breaking ourselves of other addictions. At some point we just say, “Enough is enough!”

How close are you to that point? When you reach it, no one can deter you from it, not even your significant other.

Read part 2.

FitnessFor.Us – What it’s about

I’ve decided to start this website to let people know about the experiences of me, as a regular guy, with fitness and nutrition. I’m not a gym rat. I’m not a bodybuilder. I’m not a low-fat fanatic or a primal eating devotee. I don’t always eat healthy. I drink alcohol and consume caffeine. I live my life, but still want to stay in pretty good shape and keep my body fairly healthy.

This blog will contain my thoughts, struggles, successes, and failures.

I will try to post something here on most days, because there is no point to a blog that is not updated frequently.

I started on a fitness journey a few years ago, and have had varied levels of success. I have learned a lot along the way, and I hope to pass some of that along to you. My journey is not yet complete, nor will it ever be, so I hope you’ll join me, and we can help each other reach our reasonable fitness goals.